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Surgery, Loss, and Gratitude

I’ve been a runner my entire life. I began racing in middle school, continued throughout my adult life, and ran my most recent race in the deserts of Southern California in November a few years ago. I won my age group by more than two minutes and finished in the top two percent of runners.

Southern California near the location of my last race.

There’s an inherent sense of power that comes with running competitively. When you’re in front of the pack in a distance race, you run a large section of the course alone. You’re competing against yourself in a manner more intimate and more explicit than the way all athletes, in truth, compete only against themselves. It’s you, your body, and the environment, and it’s up to you to push yourself.

A month after the race, I felt pain in my knee during a twenty-mile training session. At the end of the run, I realized my knee had swollen to the size of a softball. 

I spent the next six month’s seeking a competent diagnosis. Two general practitioners, two specialists, six physical therapists, multiple rounds of x-rays, and two separate MRIs led to confusion, frustration, and bewilderment at the general incompetence rampant in the medical industry. So often in modern society, we know what we’ve done but have no idea what we’re doing. I was diagnosed three separate times with conditions I didn’t have, and one doctor handed me a WebMD printout to add authority to his confusion.

Finally, a friend, who happens to be a world champion marathoner, a certified physical therapist, and a well-respected running coach, traced the issue from my knee to my hip, providing the first accurate assessment I’d received. 

I underwent multiple surgeries and two separate stints of eight weeks on crutches, non-weight-bearing. Eighteen months passed before I knew a day without pain.

My crutches the day I stopped using them.

I was told I would never run again.

This morning, I ran five miles, and I feel fine. I’m rebuilding my conditioning little by little. Stretching, cross-training, and recovery have become more important than ever before, and they were always important. My body may never be what it once was, but I’ve finally returned to the activity that grounds all the other practices that hold my life together.

I give thanks: for the opportunity to feel the sun on my face, the wind at my back, and the ground beneath my feet.I my never win another race, but to run is a privilege I’ll never again take for granted.

Sincerely,


Well Worth Reading

I was trained to run through injury by relaxing the tension in my body while running. Obviously, avoiding injury isn’t always in the cards. That said, Chi Running provides great insight into the how a runner can use somatic awareness to prevent injuries, meditate, and deepen the running experience.

This book can enhance any running practice.


I use Amazon Associate links to the books, music, and films I mention, earning a bit of something from qualifying purchases.

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